“What the heck are you talking about? You’re only 22!”
That’s what I told myself when I wrote the title of this post.
I know, it’s a bit too early to talk about this. But you know, at some point in your life, you will be asked about your plans with regards to having your own family or having kids. It’s not like a bad thing to talk about though, but more like getting yourself prepared of what’s to come.
Mom told me it’s okay to get married at the age of 26. And if I think about it, I’m only 3 years and a few months away from that. Geez. It scares me. A lot. Like, I’m not even financially ready for it. I don’t have a life insurance. I can’t even look after myself. Could I be THAT responsible?
. . .
Months ago, I was with a colleague and we were talking about our future plans. Career. Having your own family. Then kids. I told her I might not want a kid. Of course, she asked why. I told her I am scared.
I am not scared to experience labor pains or the excruciating feeling of giving birth. I am not scared of the responsibility, nor the sleepless nights my mom always told me. I am not scared of waking up early to make breakfast for them for the rest of my life.
I am scared of the world. I am scared of what they’re about to experience. The judgmental society, the calamities, the changing environment– you know what I mean. And I don’t want them to live in a world where they have to meet the society’s standards for them to be accepted.
I don’t know. I’m not really sure. Am I being selfish? Am I being too paranoid because I don’t want them to experience the same struggles that I’m experiencing? Ugh, I really don’t know.
/ brain dump ends here// k thx bye ///