Having Kids

“What the heck are you talking about? You’re only 22!”

That’s what I told myself when I wrote the title of this post.


I know, it’s a bit too early to talk about this. But you know, at some point in your life, you will be asked about your plans with regards to having your own family or having kids. It’s not like a bad thing to talk about though, but more like getting yourself prepared of what’s to come.

Mom told me it’s okay to get married at the age of 26. And if I think about it, I’m only 3 years and a few months away from that. Geez. It scares me. A lot. Like, I’m not even financially ready for it. I don’t have a life insurance. I can’t even look after myself. Could I be THAT responsible?

. . .

Months ago, I was with a colleague and we were talking about our future plans. Career. Having your own family. Then kids. I told her I might not want a kid. Of course, she asked why. I told her I am scared.

I am not scared to experience labor pains or the excruciating feeling of giving birth.Β I am not scared of the responsibility, nor the sleepless nights my mom always told me. I am not scared of waking up early to make breakfast for them for the rest of my life.

I am scared of the world. I am scared of what they’re about to experience. The judgmental society, the calamities, the changing environment– you know what I mean. And I don’t want them to live in a world where they have to meet the society’s standards for them to be accepted.

 

I don’t know. I’m not really sure. Am I being selfish? Am I being too paranoid because I don’t want them to experience the same struggles that I’m experiencing? Ugh, I really don’t know.

/ brain dump ends here// k thx bye ///

 

 

27 thoughts on “Having Kids”

      1. I read it ate Jac! That’s what I am afraid of, seeing my future child being upset of what’s happening. But still, it gives me hope that maybe one of my future kids (if given the chance) will make a change in this world. ✨

        Liked by 1 person

  1. This is a good point and I have some friends who have the same opinion. I really don’t. I want to have 2 kids, something like that, but I also want to adopt. I really want to adopt at least 1 kid. This was my thought since I was little, because I’ve always felt something for them.

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  2. You are *not* being selfish. There is nothing wrong with looking at your life, assessing it, and deciding you’re not in a position to want kids right now. Maybe that will change in the future, maybe it won’t. But you’re not being selfish for making a decision that best fits you. After all, who else is going to actually be having and raising those kids? Ikaw, diba? So you do what’s best for *you*.

    Ako, I always tell people that I think I’d like to have kids one day, but I definitely absolutely positively do not want to get pregnant and give birth. Hahaha. So adoption has been on my mind for a really long while as well, just like Madeline. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Having children scares me too – like a lot! I never think of myself as a “mum” in the future….. that’s until I see all the cute little baby clothes in shops haha and that makes me consider it for a very brief moment and then I go back to my original mindset. I hope that with time my thoughts will eventually change, but if they won’t then that’s okay too – and same goes for you lovely! ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Me too. But when I see some of my older friends who have kids now, I can really say that they’ve changed for the better. And they always tell me that having one is a wonderful feeling. πŸ™‚

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  4. We have the same fear! The world really scares me too much. I don’t think it’s being selfish, it’s probably our ‘mother’s instinct’ kahit wala pa yung mga babies natin. πŸ™‚

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    1. Diba. Sana umayos muna yung mundo, sana magawa na yung skyway, yung mga ibang linya ng tren, para di na nila maranasan yung ganto kahirap haha ang layo na yata ng sinabi ko haha

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  5. I was scared too, before. I wonder few years ago if I’d be ready or get matured enough to have my own kid. Pero, let me ask you. When will you be – physically, emotionally, financially – ready? When will the world be ready for your kid? I mean, when is the world going to change, diba? Haha. Ayun lang naman. Anyway, you don’t have to rush things. bata ka pa naman. Just enjoy each and every single thing so when the kid is there, all you’ll have are stories of how life can be amazing. πŸ™‚

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  6. “where they have to meet the society’s standards for them to be accepted.” , it is okey to feel being scared of~
    What is wrong is when you’re not feeling anything anymore.

    Β 

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  7. I totally agree with you, and I don’t think you’re being selfish. I think more so that you are being selfless. You are thinking about what’s going on in the world, and that it probably isn’t the best environment for a child to grow up in.

    Natalie | Natalie’s Alchemy

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly. Given the changing climate, the super typhoons or hurricane, it’s really scary. Sometimes I would even think that what if there’s no safe drinking water in 10 years time. It’s crazy.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I believe that everything happens in their own rightful time (pang miss u na sagot hehe) and sabi ko nga wala namng instruction manual ang mga bata kapag dumating sa buhay mo, and everything you will do will be based on instinct, basta sa ngayon ienjoy mo lang kung ano ang ibigay ng buhay sayo, dahil kapag may kids na, for sure mas iisipin mo na ang buhay nila kesa sa sarili mo πŸ™‚

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  9. It’s okay to feel that way. You are responsible enough to know your limits.

    I wasn’t ready when I had my first child considering 29 na ako nun. Well, sabi nga nila everything happens for a reason so okay din naman naging outcome.

    Bata ka pa. Enjoy youth. Mahirap at magastos magka-anak. πŸ™‚

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  10. I definitely do not think you are being selfish..Honestly, I do not think I will end up having/adopting kids until my thirties, which is absolutely fine – my mum was 32 when she had me so I feel like the pressure to have them in your twenties is definitely unnecessary! It is important to find financial stability first and ensure that you will be able to protect the child whenever it is needed. xx

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  11. I don’t want any kids either and this is definitely one of the main reasons why! I’m also scared of the labor pains and such, though…lol.

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  12. I find it interesting that a lot of our generation seems to experience the same fear. So many of us are afraid to bring in children to this crazy advanced world we live in. The best thing that we can do it trust that we raise them right and for them to make good decisions. There will always be something to fear, we cannot let our fears control our actions. ❀

    Liked by 1 person

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