my film photography journey

Ciao! It’s Chams. It’s been a while since I last blabbered about photography, and I’m really excited to tell you about my film photography journey.

Photography is definitely a new thing for me but since I’m a bibo kid and likes to try new things every now and then, I decided to try film photography as well. A little backstory, I have been doing digital photography (mostly portraits) since 2016. But, around that time, I also started to introduce myself to the magical world of film photography. Shooting film is definitely not new to us, all of us 90s kids had a couple of photo albums full of pictures captured in film. But since the age of digital cameras, we slowly drifted away from film photography.

My family is basically obsessed with cameras, and we have 9 different cameras lurking around the house (be it action cams, DSLRs, digital cameras, and analogue cameras). Every once in a while, when we clean the house, I find my dad’s old cameras from our drawers and play around with them. It was 2017, around June, when I came across Nate Punzalan, a Filipino YouTuber who shoots film. I was in awe with his passion for shooting film and also amazed with his shots. I then remembered that my dad owned a vintage rangefinder and now, I’m using it to take film photography.

the journey

Now that my camera is ready, I just needed a film to begin with. My first roll was an expired Kodak Ultima 100 that I bought from AnalogiquePH.

Sadly, it took me two years to finish the roll with 36 shots because the excitement sort of died down when I got really into portrait photography using my DSLR. I finished my first roll last December, because I finally have a film bud to shoot film photography with! He’s new into film photography like me, but he takes great photos, I swear! If you want to see his awesome works, go check out Kervs!

Since Kervs is an amazing human, he took my film and brought it to Sunny16 Lab with me to have it developed and scanned there. Here are some of the photos from my first roll that I want to share with you all. Hope you enjoy!

 

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My shots looked like they came from the 60s but nah, the expired film made it look like this. And maybe the light settings hehe basically I don’t know what I’m doing.

I just finished my second roll of film and I’m excited to share with you all the results. But that’s for next time. If you’re interested with film photography and want to learn more about it, go check out Nate’s video on how he shoots film. He explained it very well along with the technicalities and whatnot.

 

Do you still remember the last time you shot with film cameras? 🙂

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what the past has brought me (3/3)

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People come and go. It happens. But I hope this one stays.

 

(3) two. one. two.

 

I got hints, but never did I imagine that the breaking point will be that year. Funny, because I was holding on to something that wasn’t even strong enough to begin with. It was suicide.

Nine years ago I met someone funny, smart and outspoken. He’s really far from my ideal guy, but strange things happen. I fell for the person. I was fifteen back then, and was really stupid for not listening to my mom and my sisters when they told me, “Tigilan mo ‘yan.” 

I was in love, for sure. I thought I was doing something right, and I kept fighting for it even if the whole thing was a mess. Then, one day the guy wanted to break ties. That time, I was too tired to give a damn of everything, so I let him. It was easy. /how i felt/

Being with someone for eight years is no joke, though we weren’t really physically present for the whole duration of the relationship, it was still mind-blowing how we got that far. Well, he was a good man, he took care of me and he treated me right as much as he can. When he left, I thought I won’t be able to find a man who will treat me the same.

BUT BOY, I WAS WRONG. 

I was doing the laundry when a famous quote from a book popped into my mind.

“We accept the love we think we deserve.” – Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I read that book when I was in college, and that line was indeed famous. But to be honest, I didn’t get it. It was just a “relate-able quote” for some, but I never really understood it. Until that afternoon when I was doing my laundry. It was like an “AHA!” moment when I recalled that line and finally understood what it means.

Indeed, I accepted the love I thought I deserved. Even if it caused me pain, and even cost me my relationship with my family. I thought everything will be worth it. And I thought everything that you fought for will reward you victory in the end. I was wrong. Looking back at how stupid I was in making decisions, I realized how naive and blinded I was in love. I kept on justifying everything, even if it wasn’t right and probably against God’s will for me.

God must have been looking at me like, “My poor child, you deserve better.” And I don’t know what kind of power He used on me that I didn’t feel any pain through the separation process. He helped me pick up myself again, and fortified me with His grace and love. I had everything I need, but still, He gave me more.

 

and then, October 15 happened. 

 

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what the past has brought me (2/3)

two of three

 

To new experiences;

(2) running after passion and some mishaps

If you have been following me for quite some time now, you’d probably know that I am a Nutritionist-Dietitian. My love for food made me become one. I vividly recall how my Professor asked me when he interviewed me for admissions:

“Why Nutrition and Dietetics?” he said, as he leaned back on his swivel chair.

“I like food and I like to cook, Sir.” I said. A bit disappointed with my answer because it was too shallow. “I want to know the right food to eat if you have this certain illness.” I added, just so it becomes a bit more acceptable.

Fortunately, I got accepted in the program. Got a tres during the first semester. Got a singko during my sophomore year. Became a Dean’s Lister on my third year. And passed my thesis on my fourth year. My life during college was pretty chill. I was an average student. No expectations from parents, and no expectations from anyone. I graduated on time. And passed the licensure exam the same year.

To me, Nutrition and Dietetics is my first love. And I even told myself, I cannot see myself in any other field but this.

But boy, I was wrong. 

Back when I was still in the Uni, I really admired my Professors. While everyone else were ranting about how complicated students’ lives were, I was there, thinking about how Professors were having a much more difficult time. Standing in front of the students for three straight hours, discussing, coaching, mentoring, going home with lots of paper works– I mean? These people are awesome! (except my Physics Prof who failed 80% of my class)

When I finally got hold of my Nutritionist-Dietitian license, I was offered with a job from a non-government organization who partners with different Universities for their Nutrition Practicum. I was a Community Nutrition Supervisor for graduating students of Nutrition and Dietetics. We were assigned to immerse in a small barangay in Bataan. For a month. Fun. We were living together in the same house. Fun. It was like babysitting, but instead, they gave me adults to look after, and some of them were even older than me! Aside from babysitting, I had to make sure that they learn and teach them how to expose their selves in the community. Give interventions, and help the community with the projects they thought of.

Of course, it was difficult. Grown ups were harder to control. They were resilient. And sometimes, they weren’t open for new information, just because “Eto ‘yung tinuro samin sa *insert prestigious school*.”

I thought I was going to fail as an educator.

But, I stood firm. Sought advice from my mentor and went on with it. At the end of my students’ practicum, they all made me a letter of appreciation (without me asking them ha, lmao). Seriously, they all made me cry of happiness when they told me how grateful they were that I was their supervisor.

And, it was then that I knew how much I wanted to be an educator.

A few months later, I was like a proud Mum when they passed their board exams. One of my students even landed a place on the Top 10! I was actually surprised when one of them messaged me, and thanking me for inspiring her to choose the field of Community Nutrition. She told me that she was bummed when their Community Nutrition Practicum was approaching because she hated it so much. But after our immersion, she fell in love with it and eventually landed a job as a Community Nutritionist. It was the best thing ever.

It was 2017 when I drifted apart with my first love, Nutrition and Dietetics. I thought I needed a break, and I remembered how much I wanted to become an educator. I wanted to be a Professor but I haven’t taken any units for Post-Graduate studies, and that is the minimum requirement to be one. If I can’t be a Professor yet, maybe there’s another way to become an educator.

So I became a Pre-School Teacher.

[ more of that on my next blog ]

 

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what the past has brought me (1/3)

The year ended up pretty quickly and looking back, it has been an emotional roller coaster for me. Sure, lots of good things happened last year, countless answered prayers, blessings I did not ask for but I received anyway, new experiences and learning. However, the previous year also broke my heart in so many ways, but it paved way for greater blessings I did not even imagine.

(1) strengthening the core

It was January when my mom sat us down in our room and convinced us to attend a weekend seminar at our parish. My mother, ever since we were little, likes to involve herself in church activities. She has been an active member of several religious organizations and likes to participate in different church activities. I always admire her faith and dedication in serving God and the community.

Going back, my sisters and my brother-in-law agreed to spend our weekend at church and attended the seminar. At first, my heart wasn’t ready, but I knew it was God who opened my heart to receive His invitation to move closer to Him. To listen to His words and say “Yes!” to His call. My Catholic faith and understanding deepened after that weekend, and I have never felt more renewed in my entire life.

A few weeks after that weekend encounter, it was another big event for my sisters and I, because it was Singles For Christ International Conference. and it was a 3-day conference. I wasn’t a member yet when I joined the ICon, but it was a great experience to sing praises and listen to beautiful testimonies of other people. From there, I knew that life is so much better if you surround yourself with people who are rich in faith and will let you grow in love with God. My spiritual journey did not stop there. Two months after attending ICon, my sister and I took the leap and joined Christian Life Program to become fully-fledged Singles For Christ. From there, we met more of our brothers and sisters who helped us light our paths back to Christ.

 

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Portrait Sessions Vol. IV | friends & dating?

It has been a while.

I missed blogging. I missed taking photos. I missed pouring out my creative juices on this canvass.

Anyway,

I really feel like I want to share something with you.


October 1st

We planned ahead of our trip. But it was sudden. I impulsively booked an Airbnb for Pauline and I, simply because we wanted to get away. Somewhere far, and some place where we could talk about life and catch up. A few days before our trip, Pauline’s high school friend, Gelo, joined us as well. I always wanted to hang out with Gelo, ’cause Pau told me about her a lot. She likes bands too, and she’s got good aesthetics.

The day came, and the weather was good, it was bright and sunny outside when we left Manila. We bought beers and soju before dropping off to La Bella when the sky had a temper and it drizzled for a few hours. When we got there, we fixed our stuff and rested for a while before we went outside for our shoot.

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Hello Gelo

Gelo has been a friend of Pauline since high school and I’ve heard about her since. Pauline wanted us to meet for the longest time but we didn’t have the chance to meet earlier, but we occasionally talk over Twitter that’s why it wasn’t really awkward when I got to meet her for the first time.

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Bees-ness

There’s a deeper reason why the three of us wanted to hang out together– to talk about boys. A few weeks before our trip, we were on a dating app and we were talking about the boys we’ve been talking to, and we just can’t contain all the funny stories, cringe-worthy moments and kilig stuff that we have experienced from there.

During that time, I was talking to someone already but he was giving me mixed signals that even girls can’t understand. The thing about online dating is, you really can’t expect anyone to be serious. People come and go easily.

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Well, maybe not everyone. Maybe, some are meant to stay. Hopefully.

my thoughts are so messed up.

Hope you liked the photo set though.

Camera used: Canon 1100D

Lens: Canon 50mm f1.8 

Muses: Pauline & Gelo

IG: @earthtopauline & @gelo.tecson

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living with less ii – the minimalist mindset

The second installment of my minimalism series is here already. Weeks ago, someone asked me on instagram if I will be having another blog post about minimalism, and here we are now. I actually wanted to write more about this but most of the time, I will start with a paragraph but I will just leave it on my drafts and never return to it. (inspiration, where u at????)

Lately, I have been listening to a lot of podcasts and audiobook about minimalism, particularly from The Minimalists. I learn a lot from them and they are really an inspiration to me.

steps to minimalism

There is no specific step in transitioning to being a minimalist. It doesn’t matter how hardcore you are in minimizing your clutter, or when you’re evaluating the value of your material possessions. In contrary to my previous post where I said that minimalism is a lifestyle, now I believe that minimalism is more of a mindset.

As long as you have everything you need, and you know that these things add value to your life, then you are good to go. You are a minimalist.

Take a look at your office desk, or your vanity table. Look at all of the things that you have. Do you own 20+ pens? Do you own 2 sets of makeup brushes? If so, re-evaluate these things. Does it add value to your life? Does it spark joy? Does it serve its purpose? Maybe you are just collecting these pens just because they are cute, or cheap that’s why you purchased them. Is it necessary to have 2 sets of makeup brushes (sure it does loljk) when you just use one at a time?

minimalist mindset

The perfect situation in which we can experience the minimalist mindset is when we spend or purchase. Yes, we are surrounded by malls, bazaars and other shops where we can get items from. We can’t go on a week (especially when we are in an urban area) without going to the mall, and mindful purchasing is exactly what we need. Say for an instance, you saw this really cute and “omg this is so me!”mug. You paid for it, went home, and saw a whole other mug collection of yours sitting on the cupboard, waiting for them to be used. But you only drink coffee once a day, and you only use your favorite mug that you recently bought. What will happen to the other mugs that you purchased months ago? And that, my friends, is how you accumulate clutter.

Here’s the thing. If you have a minimalist mindset, first thing that will come to your mind is, “Do I really need it?” or “Will it add value to my life?” Well, maybe yeah, buying this really cute mug will definitely motivate me to get up in the morning and get that fresh brew of coffee. But come to think of it, your mug at home is serving its purpose really well. It’s not chipped, it houses your coffee like how it should be. Why don’t you let it serve its purpose until it wears out? Or until it gets chipped or broken? Not only will it save you money, but also, avoiding small purchases can help you save the environment too (hello, zero-waste!).

 

I don’t even know why I came up with a mug as an example. But this is what we tend to do, we keep on hoarding and hoarding until it gets out of hand. And seeing all of these clutter will stress you out. But hey, like I said earlier, if collecting things add value to your life, then go do it. But maybe there are some items that you should let go for you to have more headspace and freedom in life.

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